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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25763023">Bonnie Just Wants Pirate Ass</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrries/pseuds/berrries'>berrries</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Five Nights at Freddy's</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Flirting, Foxy is So Done, It's not okay, Minor Chica/Freddy Fazbear, Minor Violence, Other, Possibly Unrequited Love, Sad Ending, also this was written at 2 am after 2 cups of coffee, bonnie is a little shit, bonnie's gender is unspecified, foxy punches bonnie once</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:28:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>468</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25763023</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrries/pseuds/berrries</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bonnie likes to hit on Foxy as a joke. That's what it is, right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bonnie/Foxy (Five Nights at Freddy's)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bonnie Just Wants Pirate Ass</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this was a joke but like... it's one of the better things i've written.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It never bothered Foxy or Bonnie that Chica and Freddy were together. Bonnie usually had a thing for nightguards and Foxy couldn’t care less. But one day, Bonnie, just for fun, tried flirting with Foxy. And they kept doing it. </p><p>At this point, no one can tell if Bonnie actually likes him or not. They’re a pretty good actor for a soul in an animatronic suit. </p><p>“What’s cookin’, good lookin’? Bonnie murmured, peaking into Pirate’s Cove. Foxy rolled his plastic eyes,</p><p>“I’m dead. I can’t eat. There is no food in sight. What the hell do you want?”</p><p>“Your heart.”</p><p>“Get out.”</p><p>“Aw, c’mon! We were having so much fun!”</p><p>“You are so lucky there aren’t children here.”</p><p>“It’s nighttime, we can go on a romantic date to the supply closet,” Bonnie suggested. Foxy gripped the curtain tightly.</p><p>“Bonnie, come on. He doesn’t want to be bothered,” Freddy called from the doorway. Bonnie followed and grumbled.</p><p>“He just doesn’t want to admit he loves me back.”</p>
<hr/><p>Foxy was peacefully walking back to Pirate’s Cove while the kids at the birthday party were eating cake. Of course, Bonnie wouldn’t let it stay peaceful for long. Once Foxy was far away from the kids, they landed a slap right on Foxy’s ass. Foxy turned and glared. </p><p>“There are CHILDREN here.”</p><p>“No one’s looking,” Bonnie smirked. “Besides, you didn’t say you didn’t like it, you just mentioned the children.” Foxy fumed, debating whether he should punch Bonnie or not. His arm made the decision for him, colliding with Bonnie’s jaw. It hung open unable to move. Bonnie couldn’t form an actual word.</p><p>“Ay!” </p><p>“Get back on stage, ye shitty guitarist.” They didn’t have a choice.</p>
<hr/><p>Eventually Bonnie gave up hope. Or they lost interest in flirting. Or maybe they just didn’t care. Perhaps they had new hobbies Foxy hadn't discovered. But he found he missed Bonnie’s dumb pick-up lines, smiles, and winks. </p><p>“Ye good, Bun?” He asked as he strutted up to the stage. Bonnie was tuning their guitar (not actually, it’s obviously fake, the music comes from hidden speakers) and not paying attention to anything around them.</p><p>“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” <em> Because you aren't hitting on me anymore, dumbass, </em> he thought.</p><p>“They’ve got a crush on the nightguard!” Chica cooed. Foxy’s heart sank.</p><p>“They do?”</p><p>“No no no! O-of course not!” Bonnie stammered, waving their arms around like they were insane (Foxy didn’t blame them, they were dead and performing every day, never getting baths, it made sense). </p><p>Foxy wouldn’t admit to himself that he actually, finally liked Bonnie back, but they seemed to have moved on. He didn’t want to hold Bonnie back from a healthy(?) relationship with the nightguard, so he shrugged and went back to Pirate’s Cove to brood.</p><p>“Cool.”</p><p>It was not cool at all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tumblr @jack-of-all-bread<br/>twitter @berrry72957356<br/>fnaf stuff is rare but if you motivate me i'll see what i can do ;)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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